Use positive thinking to live the life of your dreams. Seriously.

What if everything you knew about attraction was wrong?

No, I’m not talking about the attraction between magnets—nor the attraction between soulmates. Opposite magnets do attract, of course, as occasionally do opposite soulmates.

The law of attraction operates quite differently—oppositely, in fact. The principle of the law of attraction holds that like attracts like. Basically, this means that if you think and feel positive things, you will attract positive things. And conversely, if you think and feel negative things, you will attract negative things. Another way to say this is, what you think about, you bring about.

This seems so simple, but yet it’s so counter-intuitive to our anxiety-prone, worry-fanatic culture.

If you think it sounds a little “out there,” consider this: Your current method of thinking probably hasn’t gotten you quite where you want to be. What’s the harm in trying this? It’s fascinating to realize that some of history’s greatest thinkers and innovators spoke about these very same principles. Here are some examples:

• As a man thinketh in his heart so is he. —Proverbs 23:7
• All that we are is a result of what we have thought. —Buddha
• Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. —Albert Einstein
• Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way, you are right. —Henry Ford
• Nothing is, unless our thinking makes it so. —Shakespeare
• If you can dream it, you can do it. —Walt Disney

A few years ago, I was a first-class worrier—an Olympic champion of anxiety, if you will. If I wasn’t worried about something, I was worried that I was missing something I really should be worried about.

Another way to say this is, What you think about, you bring about.

Then in the summer of 2014, my world turned on its side.

I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. I got divorced. And then my mom died—all within a year and a half.

As I searched for a way through the darkness, I stumbled upon the law of attraction. I read more and more about it, and I started to adopt the principles to my own life, I emerged a stronger, healthier person than I even had been before. Here’s how I did it—and how you can too.

Focus on the positive. This is law of attraction 101. I focus relentlessly on the positive. It’s almost a game—from any seemingly bad situation, I can pluck something good. Long line at Giant? It’s a great time to check my phone. Stuck in traffic? Perhaps it’s helping me to avoid an accident. Spilled ketchup on my shirt? No worries, I’ll change into something I look better in. Sometimes it might be challenging, but you truly can find the positive in anything. Flip your perspective to change your reality.

Ask for what you want. Much like I would have asked my mom for guidance, or a dear friend, I simply ask the universe for what I want. You might think of it as a prayer or a wish. For example, I simply ask, “Please, let me figure out why my computer is so maddeningly slow.” More often than not, the solution presents itself. If I’m really stuck, I find it helps to step away from the problem, literally by taking a walk outside in nature.

Let it go! Certainly, negative thoughts are going to cross your mind! Life is not a never-ending Disney movie. When negative thoughts cross my mind, I try to let them cross back out as quickly as possible. It helps to chase them away with more positive ones. I remember when my boys were babies and needed to be held and walked all around. I’d think, “I am so exhausted. My arms are going to fall off. I can’t hold this baby for another second.” Then I’d quickly edit that thought with something positive like, “Kids grow up so fast. I’m going to miss these days.” Again, let go of the negative thought and replace it with a positive one.

Think. Repeat. I’ve created a formula that’s proven to be very effective when using the law of attraction. Once I’ve identified something that I want or need, I adapt this series of thoughts to it. This has worked with myriad things, such as easing nausea, avoiding traffic, and more:

I need ____.
I believe I’m going to get _____.
I will be really grateful for _______.

Believe that what you desire will happen. Even more powerful than thoughts—thinking about what you want—are feelings. The universe responds to emotion even more than thought. So rather than just thinking “I’d like to join the Disney Vacation Club,” I imagined how I would feel when I was a member: joy-filled, belonging to a club of like-minded people, anticipating years of future trips. After a few weeks of feeling that, the opportunity presented itself to join, and I did.

Create a vision board. Hanging over my desk is a bulletin board. Once upon a time it held a calendar. Now it’s a vision board, a collection of photos and words I’ve gathered that represent many of the wonderful things that I want to attract to my life: A Honda Pilot, a sunroom, a trip to Las Vegas, a cruise. I’m sure I glance at that board dozens of times each day, without even consciously realizing it. Yet my subconscious mind is acutely aware of it, I’m sure, and is working to attract these things to my life.

Give it a try!

Here’s a simple exercise to try out the law of attraction. This was the one I started with myself. The next time you’re going to a store, like Target, on your way there, think to yourself: I need a close parking spot. I believe I’m going to get a good close parking spot. I will be deeply grateful when I get a close parking spot. And I bet you do! Don’t be surprised to find an empty spot waiting for you close to the entrance. (Now if you’re headed to the Lehigh Valley Mall on Christmas Eve, I offer no promises there!)